What will happen when you get exactly what you want?
I asked a client this question, and she froze. On the surface, you may think that it’s happily ever after when you get what you want.
Most of the time, though, we don’t let ourselves get there. We stop before we get exactly what we want and we get in our own way because of this thing called “fear of success.”
We don’t want to climb too high, so the fall doesn’t hurt too much… just in case.
We don’t aim too high, or dream too big, because of the potential disappointment we’ll feel when it doesn’t happen or it disappears.
Our deepest dreams and desires are like that perfect white dress. I’ve always loved white, but I had nothing white in my closet. The white dress always starts out being perfect – stainless, spotless, beautifully glowing. I didn’t buy whites because I was afraid that I’d stain them, they would turn yellow over time, and become imperfect. I’ve always settled for black. Black isn’t perfect to me, but black is always good enough, and it’ll stay good enough for a long time.
That’s what we do with our deepest dreams and desires: We don’t go for the ones that we truly deeply want. We go for the good enough, almost there, 95% dreams.
They’re good enough, and you know they’ll last for a while without the fear of losing them.
What makes those good enough dreams even more enticing is the fact that they are just good enough. We aren’t that attached to them. Even when we lose them, it doesn’t hurt that much. It’s ok for me to spill red wine on that black dress, you can barely notice it, I didn’t love it that much anyway, and I have a million backups. But when I stain that white one…. OUCH! That hurts, a million times more!
I was roaming around in Rome, and was tempted by more white dresses than ever. They looked beautiful and cute and irresistible. I looked at them, tried them on, but I somehow felt that I was not good enough for the white dress because it is so perfect.
The big dreams are perfect. Sometimes it feels as though I’m not good enough for them. I’m not good enough to make them real. I’m not good enough to make them stay.
The white dress example may seems silly, but it shows you how the big important things work exactly the same way.
If I never buy any of those white dresses, I’ll never get to experience what I want. I may stain them and ruin them, but I’ve experienced what it’s like to live the life I want. And dreams are just like white dresses. If you don’t go for what you want, you’ll never experience life the way you want to.
Another way that white dresses and dreams are alike is that… there are plenty of them to go around! They’ll come and go. What if they’re supposed to come and go? There’s no room for new dresses if the old ones don’t go. It’s the same with new dreams and desires, there’s no space for new ones if the old ones don’t leave.
What if you treat your dreams and desires like any ole white dress
Or shirt or jeans, in whatever color you want? I invite you to try it on, see what getting what you want and living your dream feel like.
I can guarantee once you’ve tried it, you’ll never regret it. Even losing it is part of the game, and it gives you the opportunity to get the next new one.
And by the way, my closet now has sprinkles of white. And yes I spill all sorts of things on them, but I’m loving the experience of wearing what I love! 😛
I want to hear from you! Share with me what are the dreams and desires you’re going to try on?
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